Alive & Kickin'

The Kicktionary 2

2008-03-08T01:01:00.003+05:30

Sorry for the delay. But here's where we left off:
As neat as a Beckham freekick
As nutty as Martin O'Neill
As old as the FA Cup
As pale as Derby County's chancers of survivial this season
As patient as Lehmann (Now you Kahn talk!)
As plain as a Shevchenko in Chelsea
As pleased as Abramovich to have him at Stamford Bridge
As poor as Ashley Cole's defensive skills
As pretty as a Zidane pirouette
As proud as Madrid
As quick as Theo
As round as Sol Campbell's pate
As safe as Buffon
As scarce as a Maradona (or even Cryuff)
As sharp as Jermain defoe's bite (ouch!)
As sick as Martin Tyler's tackle on Eduardo
As silent as desolate home fans
As silly as Robinson's howler v Croatia
As sly as Henry
As soft a touch to kick off Cris Ronaldo's theatrics
As solid as Terry
As sour as missing out on the league on the last day
As steady a decline in young English talent
As sticky as defenders tapping away at your heels
As stiff as a goalkeeper beaten by a freekick
As straight as a Stevie G piledriver
As strong as Michael Essien
As stubborn as Italian defenders
As sturdy as Essien
As sure as Jose Mourinho
As sweet as victory
As tall as Kalac (AC Milan's reserve goalie)
As tight as extra time
As tough as India's chances of ever qualifying for the World Cup
As tricky as a bid for Ronaldinho
As welcome as Materazzi in Paris
As wise as Wenger

Oh shoot!

2008-03-03T22:20:00.011+05:30

You say
One love
One life
When its one need...

The penalty kick. A nerve-racking, heart-wrenching moment in any game, perhaps that one defining moment when all skill, stamina, physical prowess comes down to pure chance. For anyone who's played the game, this is Russian (and many more nationalities) Roulette at its best. Face to face with the goalkeeper (check out the devilish grin, and the mind games) who already knows where you're going to slot it. And with the spectators showing no sympathy at all, it's like a thousand Fat Bastards weighing down on your chest.
Hell, I even know a guy who was No. 3 in the lineup of the five takers who threw up only because the pressure got to him.Yeah, even more freaky when he started crying and went into a bewildering fit.Hehe, quite a scene...
I recall the CHANCE aspect in one Game Theory assignment during my postgraduation days. We were asked to design real life situations where the theory could (well) be applied. Using the payoff matrix and allied calculations, the Nash Equilibrium was a ludicrous result, but managed to fetch me a 7/10 for my efforts. Well, it was fun throughout the carefully constructed case study, more so for the link with soccer and even lesser on the impact it would have on the professor.
What goes through a player's mind when taking the kick?It's best, as the experts say, to already visualise the precise spot at the back of the net. Just one look as you move back from the spot after placing the ball. No eye contact with the keeper is another must.He'll probably try to come up and rant some rubbish as you gear up, trying to put you off with sweet camaraderie or a good ol' profanity. Once you've picked out THAT square among the intricate network of the goal net, it's just left to the referee's whistle and Lady Luck.
Of course, if you're Kevin Sheedy (of Republic of Ireland fame) or more lately Dimitar Berbatov, all that's said above just goes out of the window. Sheedy in the historic penalty shootout against Romania in the 2nd round of Italia '90 said afterwards that his kick was always going to be straight with a LOT, LOT OF power.Strong left foot at that too.
Berbatov's penalty against Chelsea in the Carling Cup final is quite a masterpiece. One of the best I've seen in quite some time. The technique is absolutely flawless, even the stutter was smooth.All eyes on the keeper, a paced out runup (eyes on Cech throughout) and the coolest of finishes. A perfect 10, if there was!
Enter God's own creation.Zidane at World Cup 2006. Ok, this one was the premature variety, he already knew he was going to do a cheeky one on Buffon.
Then you have the endearing images of Roberto Baggio, Maxim Bossis (Spain '82), Michel Platini (Mexico '86) Stuart Pearce (both at World Cup '90 & Euro 96). The fall from grace, oh, the pain!
My top 3 shootouts:
France v Brazil (Mexico '86 quarters)
Italy v Argentina (Italia '90 semis)
Liverpool v AC Milan (Champions League final 2005)
I could go on...but I'll leave it here.I'm just happy with 120 minutes-plus football!

The Kicktionary 1

2008-02-22T20:59:00.006+05:30

Well here are some similes you might come across during commentary, or the sports pages, or news items & analyses on TV. I think this list will defintiely come handy and enhance your knowledge & appreciation of the game!Forgive the heavy European bias and the Gunner-centric unertones. Feel free to comment and I'll surely try to incorporate the necessary changes:

As agile as Brazil's Ronaldo (haha!)

As alike as Gattuso and a wild boar

As bald as Veron

As big as Rooney's head (Caesarian I presume?)

As blind as Howard Webb ( I guess all referees are)

As brave as a Spurs fan in the Arsenal section at the Emirates

As bright as Valencia's orange away kit (Villareal's yellow home kit a close 2nd)

As busy as Casillas & Valdez in El Derby

As calm as Riquelme

As clear as the Abrahamovich-Shevchenko connection

As clean as the stands in the San Siro during and post-match strictly (give or take a few missiles)

As cold as Collina's stare

As common as Chelsea's big buck signings

As cool as Zidane's penalty in the WC2006 final

As crazy as Zidane (oh why, oh why, oh why!!!)

As cunning as Frank Ribery

As dead as Arsenal's chances in Europe

As dense as Valdderama's hair (what a crop!)

As dry as a Liverpool fan's throat (You'll never slog alone)

As dull as Newcastle United

As easy as pronouncing Hasan Salihamidzic

As free as Adriano's agent in Europe

As fresh as Paul Robinson's goalkeeping gloves

As funny as Peter Crouch running

As gentle as Claude Makalele

As good as Messi's left foot

As happy as league, continental champions

As hard as a Robbie Savage tackle

As high as expectations from Schuster

As hoarse as Oli Kahn just before a freekick

As hot as a Milan derby

As hungry as a Dutch supporter for success

As keen as Adebayor to be the next Henry

As large as the talent in South America

As light as the Fevernova

As likely as Argentina winning over the Faroe Islands

As lowly as a Cristiano Ronaldo simulation

As mad as supporters from any African nation

As modest as Paolo Maldini

TO BE CONTINUED...

Ball...sorry small talk

2008-02-18T18:09:00.006+05:30

Not many of us, at least back in India, got too involved with The African Nations Cup in Ghana a few weeks back.Well, premier league enthusiasts just about kept track of their favourite stars, desperately praying for no injuries at the tournament with the BPL at a crucial juncture.Yeah, many chose to be in the 'dark' over proceedings in Africa.

But here's a bright spark.

I guess this one stems from my obsession with trivia and a nose for something different.Not a habit I'm planning to kick too soon.

Here it is folks, in all its glory and manufactured by Adidas. For all the usual technical jiggery-pokery (bonded this, streamlined that) the most striking thing about the official African Cup of Nations match ball is the colouring. Designed to include host nation Ghana’s red, yellow and green, the WAWA ABA (easily the best name for a tournament ball ever) is not only visually striking, it also has some cultural significance.

For the Akan culture originating from Western Africa the name “Wawa Aba” is a symbol of persistence. People there particularly believe in the strength and team spirit of a community. The Wawa aba is the seed of the Wawa tree, one of the strongest and most processible woods of Africa. For the population, the Wawa Aba mainly has mystical significance. These are people who don’t let failure discourage them, who seize all opportunities successfully and who are thus just as strong and adaptable as the Wawa Aba.

http://www.designwar.net/

A befitting tribute for the continent from the sports giant.

Questra, Tricolore, Fevernova, Roteiro, Teamgeist, what next?Stay tuned as well for the Europass (the official match ball for Euro 2008) review as well...

A Real pleasure

2008-02-17T23:34:00.005+05:30

It's like a man-eating tiger when it first tastes human blood.

It's wonderful to see how success breeds success and just a case in point that Real Madrid is finally, finally living up to its billing. The richest club on the planet with an even richer history, THIS team has really been going great guns so far this season after uncharacteristic lulls for the past few years.

For me personally, it was disappointing to see Beckham leave at the end of last season for (oh goodness gracious me!) LA Galaxy. Though, was indifferent about the ouster of Capello. All said and done, Ramon Calderon, the club president opted for a 'more flair, less defensive' approach, but what about gratitude senor?Well Fabio had to take solace with the silverware and the extra glitter it would rub off on his CV.

His Juventus recruits got mixed results with Emerson bundled off to AC Milan and Fabio Cannavaro still holding his place among a defence lineup that is yet to impress me.

The first match of 2008-09 was certainly going to test their mettle as champions. Desperate to prove that the title had not been won just because Barcelona stuttered at the very end, Bernard Schuster had a lot of work to do, a lot of promises to keep.The Madrid derby was the best way he could really stamp his impression, and leave his signature on the Bernabeu.

It's amazing how Raul continues even at this age. The old war horse never seems to give up. His finesse, poaching instincts, gamesmanship, infectious energy time and time again reminds footballing enthusiasts around the world of the youthful exuberance he once possessed. He's a REAL darling, the sun in the solar system, with the likes of Guti, Snjeider, Gago, Higuain, Robinho perfectly in orbit around him, waiting to push that through ball. It's football from another planet really.He's committed to Real for life, incidentally.

Another surprise has been Julio Baptista, the man who hardly created an impression with Arsenal last season.Of considerable note was his stellar finish in El Derby, a blow which all but planted a nail in Barca's coffin.'The beast', it seems, hasn't impressed Schuster too much though.But he looks happier with life in a temperate Madrid compared with the gloomy weather of North London.

My perennial favourite, the dashing Iker Casillas has continued to dazzle as well. His performances even when Real was going through its lean period constantly reminded one of the superb quality and his coming of age (he still looks young). I rate him as one of the best between the posts, way, way ahead of Buffon. Tremendous agility, anticipation and at times, unique shot-stopping abilities he's been a veteran of many wars and have ensured the white angels get out of jail many a time during close encounters.Another committment to the club for a lifetime.

The trigger for this post, incidentally, lay in the impressive 7-0 demolition of Valladolid.The credit was really long due...

Ruud Van Nistelrooy seems to be enjoying himself as well.'The poacher' lies at No. 3 on the goal scorers list this outing.He's another surprise of sorts, considering that he's fast shedding the 'opportunistic striker' tag of his and it's wonderful to see him creating the goals himself, most of the times.

Calderon has truly delivered, where Florentino Perez had just promised. It seems a new era has arrived and it's R.I.P to all the hogwash about 'Galacticos' and record-fee transfers. Synchronization & understanding, something which was non-existent (blame it on star power or whatever), are back as key components of Real's game nowadays.

Oh, and a pat on the back for the sensational Sergio Ramos as well!And thank God, Arjen Robben quit Chelsea!

The Bernabeu faithful must be enjoying their siestas these days with more happy days still to come.

So what, if they lost 1-2 at Seville to Real Betis yesterday and cut their lead at the top to five...

Italia '90

2008-02-15T00:01:00.009+05:30

The World Cup that perhaps wasn't the best, is the one I best remember!
Italia '90 was one tournament I followed in great detail.At the young, impressionist age of 10, this was to be my first World Cup (the only memory of Mexico '86 was the run-down fixture list with a dynamic little Pique on the top right).Well, the excitement was sure palpable.Right from promotions & fixture lists splashed across newspapers and magazines, most notably the SPORTSTAR (was in awe of the collage on the front page).
Oh Pumpido, oh Pumpido (that would be the first and last time I saw him)!The first match between defending champions Argentina and Cameroon will forever be etched in my memory!The mother of all blunders to give Omam Biyik a place in history.Hell, I didn't even know whether to jump for joy or just remain plain silent.It was far from being the beautiful game though, a tad rough for my dislike, which saw two indomitable lions (a term coming into prominence only after the last 16) being ejected.What a start!
Had managed to come up with an interesting stat though (my first brush with research). Since 1962, the cup had always changed hands across continents (check the WINNER'S list). So, it was never going to land in South America this time around.
The Italians would also be no pushovers as hosts. Baresi & Co would be looking to emulate Kempes, Passarella (the last winners as hosts in '78, though it would be France again in '98). Had been following Gianluca Vialli in the sports pages in the runup, but it was Baggio's scintillating goal against Czechoslavakia, which proved to be just the beginning of many great things to come from the man.
Curiously, am relying totally on memory for this post (no 8-packs for prizes sadly)...
Brazil was hardly inspiring in Group C specially the Scotland game.Here, it was Costa Rica which emerged as the surprise package, not because they made me consult my Oxford Atlas for yet another time.
Group D saw West Germany (my favourites for the '90 edition) walloping Yugolsalvia, UAE but strangely managing a 1-1 with Colombia (Littbarski & Freddy Rincon on either side). I think these chappies were otherwise on song-Matthaeus, Brehme (that sweet left foot), Klinsmann, Voeller (what a team!). Later on I would recognise Klaus Augenthaler in his role as coach of Bayer Leverkusen (he was sacked!) .
Holland, England, okay throw in Ireland, were pathetic in Group F. Hossam Hassan, a key component of the Egypt team, generated consicderable interest - it was just the name that's all.
The goals which stood out for me in the 1st round were: ANDREAS OGRIS (Austria v USA), HWANG BO KWAN (South Korea v Spain)
Usually, upsets were few in the 2nd round 'cept with Brazil going out to the underperforming Argentina, courtesy Claudio Cannigia. You won't forget Higuita's blunder too in quite a hurry!And oh, the 'spitting' image of a moustached Rijkaard & Voeller sent to the dugout to cool their heels!
I'll be honest, school hours were taking a toll and could just manage to stay awake for just two of the quarters.Argentina vs Yugoslavia going into penalties (yaaawwwnnn!) and West Germany vs Czechoslavakia (double yaawwwnnn!).Skhuravy top scorer?Hmmpph!It was a pity to miss out on England v Cameroon though.
By now Goycochea was emerging, according to me, as the player of the tournament.The greatest shot stopper I have ever seen. The Azzuri did pay.The other semi also went to a tie-breaker, and England (when, oh when will you guys win a shootout?) went out to a West Germany dressed in a smart green kit.
And then there was the final! The dullest and drabbest match, without a shade (backpasses to the goalie still existed then).Nerves were held as Brehme coolly slotted the penalty home after Sensini had brought down Voeller.I guess it was also the first time I would witness what would later be termed as 'simulation', a flying Klinsmann and more down-to-earth Pedro Monzon.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMSW7ZKBah0

Sadistic that I am, I enjoyed watching the Mexican referee being roughed up by the Argentines as well after as Dezotti got his marching orders.
All said and done, this was a cup I will truly cherish for the World Cup Bubble Gum, the trading cards and the West Germany kit (minus the socks) which would soon be purchased from a non-descript store on Gariahat.

The first steps

2008-02-13T22:17:00.009+05:30

Welcome to the world of the sports journalist that never was...
A little about moi in a nutshell. Am a die-hard Arsenal fan myself, the club managed by God's deputy himself, Arsene Wenger.The fact that the Frenchman endears himself stems from his uncanny ability to spot REAL & raw talent (give or take an odd Francis Jeffers) and his unflagging belief in youngsters. Have been following the Gunners since '98 when the first EPL matches came alive on ESPN. And will stay loyal much long after they are crowned champions of Europe (just you wait!).
With most of world soccer (predominantly European though) on display across all channels - Barclays Premier League, FA Cup, La Liga, Serie A, Scottish Premier League (love the atmosphere at the stadiums), Ligue 1, Eredivisie, I-League - it's a dream come true for soccer-aholics like me!Power-packed weekends, the late nights due to the Champions League and the Carling Cup...hmmm delicious!To top it off, an ever-loving, supporting wife in the form of Mrs C, she's a real doll!!!
For starters, here's something to put a smile and get you in the mood. It's a must for all you BPL fans. Groovy artwork and crazy storyline.

www.sundayleague.com/strips

Through? Let's head for the kick-off...